In our society we have a tendency to assume that when something is broken it has reached an end. A death of sorts. We habitually throw away instead of repairing. Our society has become ultra adept at discarding broken objects in favour of sourcing new ones. We are taught that if something is broken it has no value. The same is true of ourselves. When we experience the sense of ‘being broken’ we see those parts of ourselves as not good enough, not worthy of love. We try to push our pain down, discard it and abandon it. We become so distracted by trying to hide our brokenness that we become blinded to our beauty.
We live in a consumerist society. We are constantly hit with media messages telling us to not only replace broken objects, but to also replace older items with new, flashy, latest versions. We change our clothes, our mobile phones, our cars and our furniture based on fashion and not because we need replacements.
This is in complete contrast to third world countries where everything is reused and recycled. There is immense love and care given to that which is old and/or broken. Broken items are never discarded. They are shown care, consideration and attention. If irreparable they are transformed into something else, given new functionality and with it a renewed source of beauty. In this way of living there is not only beauty in the brokenness but honour.
When we experience an emotional trauma we feel ‘broken’. The pain is so great that it becomes all consuming. We cannot function as we did before. We use up so much energy in the pain that participation in normal activities becomes impossible. And not only does the brokenness stop us participating, it often causes us to punish ourselves for not getting over whatever broke us in the first place. We kick ourselves when we are down.
But here is the beauty, because in that brokenness, in that deep void that we feel, is also our route to recovery and honour. The brokenness within ourselves signals a death; a death of an emotion, a thought, a dream that no longer serves us. And with it arrives the opportunity to transform.
If we learn to self nurture instead of self punish, if we can learn to see the broken areas as areas for attention, appreciation and growth then we can repair and nurture ourselves to shine brighter and stand taller.
In the same way that the death of a flower allows new buds, the death of a withered part of ourselves gives us opportunity for new life. It gives us the opportunity to learn from our experience, to grow a new perspective, and to upcycle ourselves to a greater, stronger version.
Face the broken areas of yourself. Feel your pain. Embrace with love, appreciation and honour those parts within you that are ready to be transformed.
© Copyright: Siobhain McConnell / Wild Women Coaching
Illustration credit: Molly Cules / Buddha Doodles