March 18, 2018 Wild Women Coaching

Dealing With Shame

Shame. It’s a powerful word. And following in its wake comes a wave of negatively charged and toxic emotions. If there was a visual representation of shame it would be that of the Grim Reaper: dark, overbearing, spreading misery and stealing souls. That’s exactly what shame is. It is destructive. It is a death of your inner being and a loss of your soul.

When we enter into existence and experience the awe of creation as children, we contain within ourselves an abundance of pure and innocent love. We are full of curiosity and eagerness. We shimmer with sparkle and spontaneity. We spread love and joy everywhere we go.

But as we grow we start to experience a harsher world. We are told how to behave and how to act. We receive the burden of expectation. Love becomes rule based. We start to experience non-acceptance. We adjust our behaviours. We cover up. We present ourselves in such a way that allows others to accept us. We lose our sense of self in order to please.

Sometimes, when we expose deep aspects of ourselves, particularly those aspects that are different, unique or run against expectation, we are made to feel shame. And the instant we feel it, we quash our inner being. Shame stops us from entering fully into our essence. It prevents us from nurturing our true self.

Shame makes us hide our uniqueness. It denies us the very core of who we of are. It covers our soul and engulfs it in darkness. It removes our sparkle. It denies our true sense of self. We start to define ourselves by shame and not by our specialness. It makes us feel that we are, at our very core, defective as a human being. Shame makes us feel that we are fundamentally flawed; that we are unlovable in our most truest form. So we hide our true self. We disconnect from who we really are.

But thing is, shame is not a function of who we are. It is a function of judgement from others. Shame is a contaminant put upon us, often at moments when we are too vulnerable to shake it off.

Think of the moments in your life when you were most happy and joyous, when you were most filled with wonder and awe. These are the moments when you have been experiencing a deep connection to your true self. When you have felt liberated and free. When you could fully experience the essence of yourself without judgement. Without labels. Without shame.

Let go of the shame. Open yourself and go deep. Recognise the source of whatever external agent it comes from and release it. Sit at the very core of your being. Feel your truth and stand tall. Expose your uniqueness to the world. Allow your essence to shine and sparkle. Accept yourself. Love yourself. Fully. Unconditionally. Experience the beauty and the intensity of who you really are. Fly high on the bliss of your own existence.

© Copyright: Siobhain McConnell / Wild Women Coaching
Illustration credit: Molly Cules / Buddha Doodles

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Wild Women Coaching

Siobhain McConnell BSc MSc is equal parts warrior, goddess and yogi. Siobhain is an ICF certified Transformational & Empowerment Coach and Yoga Alliance certified Yin Yoga Instructor. Siobhain helps women step into their power, find their flow and share their greatness with the world. She writes about spirituality, self love and letting go of romantic attachments. You can read more of her articles, and sign up for a free Discovery Coaching Call, at her website

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