One of the biggest areas where we experience attachment is in romantic relationships. When this happens the relationship changes from a liberating and joyous beginning to a prison in which we keep ourselves and our partner trapped. It is no longer about a meeting of souls, but of control. The attachment binds us. It becomes a drug. We lose part of ourselves.
We experience attachment when we are not fully connected to our inner selves. The attachment fills a gap, and sometimes that gap is a deep void that has been with us for years. The object of our attachment is a strong and powerful elixir. Why spend years on an (often difficult) inner journey of self-healing and discovery when all your problems can be solved in an instant by attaching to something or someone else. This is the problem with attachment, it is provides temporary cover for whatever aspect of ourselves is missing but it does not resolve the issue that caused the gap in the first place.
With a romantic attachment, we become dependent on our partner to fill the gap. We become clingy, jealous, and fearful our partner will leave. And, inevitably, they do. And then what? We suffer a heartache that feels out of this world. But it’s not only a heartache at the loss of our partner, it’s extreme internal pain because we have been left staring straight back into our own deep inner void.
The loss of any attachment becomes unbearable, but herein is the lesson – and the beauty – of the experience. Our deep sense of pain awakens us to the fact that we are not complete within our inner selves. That there is something missing; that our soul is not full.
From here we have two choices, find someone/something else to fill that gap or, for the brave amongst us, embark on the most amazing and incredible journey; the journey to find the missing piece of your soul.
The journey to find the missing piece of your soul may be the most important, and perhaps the toughest, journey you ever take. The adventure is so incredible, and the rewards so great. When you find that lost piece of your soul, when you have filled the gap from a place of deep inner discovery, when you have nurtured and comforted your inner essence, then you will stand tall, proud and as fearless as a warrior.
You will know that you jumped into the void and climbed out stronger and brighter than before. You will have no fear and, most importantly, you will have connected deep within yourself. When this happens, you will experience a purity of love that is so true, so joyous and so blissful that it will sustain your every need. You will know the deep unconditional love of your soul, and that is the greatest love of all.
© Copyright: Siobhain McConnell / Wild Women Coaching
Illustration credit: Molly Cules / Buddha Doodles